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long as I've been alive." For some reason that totally blew my mind. "Why! For
the love of the Goddess& you had a sweet set-up in Huston a good home, emerging
powers& Twilight as a lover why? Do you know how we tracked you down, Hollow
Man? We tracked you down by smell& the things you've done to yourself& the
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things you've done& you've become an abomination to your own people& why?
"What did you call me? he asked, seeming to ignore everything else I'd said.
"The Hollow Man." I flopped disconsolately onto the futon, wrapping my arms
around my knees. He obviously needed me for something and I wasn't going to
fight him now, when he was right about not wanting to hurt the boys. I may as
well make myself comfortable.
"Why would you call me that? he asked, looking unhappily at his shiny black
shoes. He'd looked everywhere but at me since he'd dropped me in this little,
cold room.
"Because you un-make everything you touch, I said, blinking up at him.
"You're never satisfied." He was such a non-entity, standing there with his
attention wandering around the bare-steel room. I'd expected more. I'd
expected a big Gothic bad guy with a Bela Lugosi accent, and I got the kid who
didn't go to prom and never got over it.
"Well I never got enough!" He burst out, toeing the very pricey throw rug
under the pool table. "I mean, I've got this sorry-assed power where I can
move shit around, but really what can you do with that?
"Well, you could have fought crime," I suggested nastily, "But you chose to
throw losers at me instead." The image of Chuck and Shane, their heads split
open because this guy had thrown them at me like softballs rose in front of my
eyes like black spots.
"It didn't get that big until I turned," he groused. "Until I died, all it
really did was break shit.
"That's because it's all you chose to do with it!" I thought longingly of the
boys, and that wonderful day in the garden when just the tiniest bit of sun
had peeked through the clouds, making their shield bubbles full of rainbows.
"These power things they're really only as big as our hearts you know, I
said, trying to get through.
"But I'm not really hollow& " He was still stuck on that. "I mean& I've got
flesh and blood&
"You've apparently got everybody else's flesh and blood." The terrible
waste& the horrible deaths& he was so empty& was it all because he was so empty?
"Yeah that one guy had a great body. I could have walked around as him for a
long time." He narrowed his eyes and looked disgruntled. "And then your
boyfriend&
"Husband.
"Ripped his heart out. And you killed my other friends.
"You threw them at me!" My stomach heard the thud of Chuck's head as it hit
the wall again and I swallowed hard.
"It's hard to get friends, he said sadly. "People don't really like me.
"Yeah, that's a shame. Do you realize that you corrupt everything you touch
with your& your& need? People don't like you because once you touch them, they
blow up!" An image of Ellen Beth flashed before me, her eyes rolling whitely
around in her lover's corrupted blood.
"That's not my fault!" He whined. "I mean& I need to eat& they like it when I
feed. It's not my fault it's not enough. And they talk to me and they
agree& it's not enough. Nothing is ever enough& and we ask ourselves, what do we
want that we don't have? What do we need? And we need& and we need& and then I'm
all alone, needing without them& it's not my fault they leave me&
His whine was beginning to grate on my nerves, partly because I was starting
to feel for him. He really did seem lonely& maybe the corruption of the blood
wasn't his fault& I shook myself and stuck to the important things. "Can you
tell me again why you needed the boys? You can't infect them you know.
He nodded, still sunk in his own sense of having been wronged. "I know& you did
something to them& I can't bite them& my teeth sort of bounce off.
"You can't bite any of us," I told him frankly, thrilled to know that what
we'd done had worked. "You might as well go away.
"I can bite you, he said, "Your skin doesn't smell the same." And then he
looked up at me pleasantly and smiled, meeting my eyes for the first time.
Terror settled into my stomach like a sleeping puffer fish.
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His eyes were pale, pale blue, almost translucent they were so colorless, and
they were empty, puzzled, devoid of anything but his own self-pity. He smiled
wistfully for a moment. "I'd bet you'd taste wonderful& you're pretty powerful,
aren't you? Power tastes good. The sylphs taste okay& but Twilight& " He
shuddered in a really repulsive ecstasy of sensuality. "Twilight was the
best& he was the closest I ever came to full.
"That's because he loved you, I said sadly.
"Yeah." He smiled happily. "That was nice it was nice that he loved me. But he
was holding out on me all I wanted was everything he had& how can you love
someone and not want to give them everything?
I thought of Bracken and Green, doing everything in their power to keep me
safe, to keep me alive and whole and well, and of Adrian, who had died trying
to do the same thing. "Sometimes everything is not yours to give, I said
sincerely.
"No." He shook his head. "I never got any breaks my mother left me&
"She died, Hollow Man& that's not the same as leaving you.
"She was gone& she just didn't want to stay with me, and I wasn't cute enough
to adopt& Twilight loved me. He promised me the world but& " He shifted
restively, shrugging off the tremendous, earth-shattering bounty that was a
sidhe lover as though regretting not buying shoes. "He didn't really give it
to me. If he'd given me all he had, I wouldn't have& I wouldn't have just
wanted more. I think he just wanted to watch me wither and die, like my mom.
He wanted to keep me mortal and dependent on him& love the poor human& I was a
charity case, that was all& and his charity wasn't worth shit.
Oh& oh Goddess& this guy was scary. I'd faced the vengeful and the power-hungry
and I'd been able to get hot and angry and do my job. This guy& this guy scared
me cold, clammy cold, the chill of his smooth maggot flesh. "Let the boys go,"
I begged from the heart.
"I can't, he said surprised. "I can't feed off of them, but I marked them so
they can't go back. They're mine," he smiled happily, "and I'll give them what
no one gave me. I'll make them immortal.
I blanched, my breath suddenly whooshing out of me like I'd been hit. "Oh
Goddess," I whispered. "Goddess& oh gees& Hollow Man, tell me how many times
you've marked them." The first is empathy, I heard in my brain. It was a
vampire mantra one I hadn't heard when Adrian had marked me but that Marcus
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